reading regine's and spectrum's blog made me cry alot
it reminds me of my batch leaving nygh gymnastics 6 years ago
after sweeping all the team golds in the nationals
but celebration dinner turned farewell party
and everybody cried
EVERYBODY
and it makes me wonder again
of things i dun feel like mentioning here

last nite HO i think hall 3 did great
hall 13 did great too
and i think they should be at least in the top 3
but well
its not all abt winning
i told hall 3
most imptly is tt everyone enjoyed it
enjoyed the process
enjoyed the performance
we know that we have put in our best
thats enuf =)
had a great drinking session with hall 3 peeps
and a short visit to spectrum's bbq
too bad no more food left =(
haha

aces's performance wowed the whole floor
by just doing simple stunts from 2 hr of last min training
cheerleaders are attention seekers
and will most of the time perform better when there is crowd
thats true at least for me haha
i guess the screams from the crowd jus make you high
its actually a form of encouragement and motivation

someone told me last night
once you leave the team you are no longer part of us
when you stop coming for trainings
even if you dun quit we will sack you
'you are no longer part of us'
words can come out so easily within seconds
but the hurt is forever
ok, time heals
so its not really forever
it jus takes time to forget those words
or for you to feel unhurt by them
so is it what a team is all about?
i know, the person who said it might not be intentional
but those words still get to my head

argh shall forget about all the unhappiness
its time to move on and make new friends
should have moved on long ago
but i still have my passion for cheer
i didnt regret joining hall 3 cheer again
despite all the injuries and the traumatizing fall
i enjoyed cheering with you all
organizing trainings was a new experience
and it was kind of fun =)
i wouldnt say i was coaching
because i just wanted to help out
i feel proud for hall 3 cheerleaders
because before i stepped in and offered a little tiny help
you all have come so far all by yourselves
well done hall 3!

as for aces
although i am no longer in the team
i will always remember the times
when we all trained so hard together
the first time i competed in cheerock 2005
the first time we won champions in cheerobics 2006
and the second time we won to defend our title in cheerobics 2007
and proved that we were not just one time champion
to me it wasnt all about winning
i enjoyed the training process
even though unhappy incidents did occur
i believe these brought us stronger and closer
at least at that point of time
we know each other's flaws and weaknesses
and because we were a team
we could only accept it
we have seen all the ugly sides of each other
which even the closest friends might not see
we learnt to accept or to ignore
and continue working together
aces brought cheer to me
and i thank aces for that
if its not aces i wouldnt have gotten in touch with cheer
thats why when cr asked me to join his team
i knew for sure that i wouldnt
there is only one sole reason
aces brought cheer to me
just this one, its enough

but i guess
maybe
just maybe
human beings are forgetful animals
maybe
its not good to remember too much
maybe
i shouldnt care so much since i am no longer in the team
maybe
i will feel better this way
maybe you will think
maybe you shouldnt have read this entry?
haha